Here's the circle time Helena and I (and sometimes Daddy) are enjoying for the Spring season.
God Made the Shy
(sung slowly)God made the shy, the wild ones, who live in field and wood
He taught them how to make their homes and how to find their food
(chorus song lively and fast) Mole and vole and tiny mouse, squirrel in the tree, rabbit, hare and hedge-hog and birds all flying free
(slowly again) He taught them all the wisdom and wonder of their ways
We love to learn about them and sing God's love and praise.
(rpt chorus)
Proud Missus Sheep (song)
Proud Missus Sheep, she has some little lambs now
Down on Cherry Tree Farm
Hear them together in any sort of weather
Baa, baa, baa, baaa, baaa.
(Rpt with various animals)
Five Little Chicks/Cinco Pollitos (bilingual finger play)
Cinco pollitos
Tiene mi tia
Uno le canta
Otro le piea
Y tres le tocan le melodia
My auntie makes music
With five little chicks
One can sing
Another can hum
And 3 play the melody
(first wave five fingers, next put up thumb only, next pointer finger only, for 3 little chicks wave remaining 3 fingers)
Hickety Pickety (rhyme)
Hickety pickety my black [red] hen
She lays eggs for gentlemen
Gentlemen come every day
To see what my black hen doth lay.
Underneath My Big Umbrella (Japanese folk song)
Underneath my big umbrella I can hear the rain
Underneath my roof of yellow singing down the lain
Pi-chi, pi-chi, cha-pu, chap-u, ran, ran, ran [pronounced rain]
Underneath my big umbrella I can see the sun
Down I bring the roof of yellow for the rain is done
Pi-chi, pi-chi, cha-pu, cha-pu, ran, ran, ran
It Rained (song)
It rained on Anne
It rained on Fan
It rained and rained on Arabella
But it did not rain
On Mary Jane
She had a HUGE umbrella!
Ring Around (bilingual similiar to ring around the rosy)
Ring Around the Potato
Eating salad greens with tomato
Like gentle people eat
Eating citrus fruits so sweet
To the ground, to the ground
We all fall down!
Al corro de la patata
Comeremas ensalada
Como comen los senores
Naranjitas y limones
Achupe Achupe
Santadita me quede!
Look Who's Here! (to the tune of Here we Go Round the Mulberry Bush)
Look who's here it's Lady Spring....... (rpt phrase) (walking in circle)
Lady Spring is here.
Who'll come into our wee ring..... (rpt phrase) (child in middle of circle)
And dance with Lady Spring
Come with me said Lady Spring (rpt phrase) (hold child's hands and gallop back and forth)
We're off to dance and sing!
The Seed (rhyme)
Baby seedlings in the earth below (crouch down low and hide head)
Wait for sun and rain to make them grow
When spring comes down go their roots (on down, jump to feet in crouching position)
And up into the air pops new fresh shoots (pop up tall on tip toes with hands over head)
The Daffodil (rhyme)
Daffy down dilly is new come to town
With a yellow petticoat and a green gown.
Hi Ho the Dairy-O
The Farmer plants the seeds..... (scatter seeds from "hip bag")
The seeds begin to grow.... (start crouched down and slowly grow)
The sun begins to shine.... (hold hands over head and sway from side to side)
The rain begins to fall..... (rain fingers from overhead slowly down to the floor)
Then ask "And wht have you grown into today?" child answers corn or sunflower for example
Song of Solomon 2:11-13
See! The winter is past.
The rains are over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth.
The season of singing has come.
The cooing of the dove is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms it's early fruit
And the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
An Incredible Adoption Story
This is the story of a "feral" child who was pretty much,abandoned at birth, found at 7 years old in the filthiest of imaginable circumstances and still acting like an infant. After some time in an ICU, and a brief stint in a group home, she was adopted. The story is amazing! And it just won a Pulitzer
Prize.
Prize.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Letter of the Week Activities
These ideas are all directly from or inspired by the Oak Meadow Kindergarten curriculum - which I was lucky to find some of on ebay. We don't have all the books, but I'm not one to follow a curriculum in it's entirety anyway.
To see and read about more of our homeschool activities check out Helena's blog.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Protecting Our Children from Sexual Abuse
As I was reading thru some parenting boards the last few days, I came across one that has me utterly shocked and devastated! One mom began by asking what to do when she discovered her two little girls exploring each other's private parts. She realized that preschoolers are sometimes curious about their bodies but she acknowledged that those parts should remain private and so she told them this sort of play was not appropriate.
What shocked me, were some of the other comments. One mom in particular said she saw nothing wrong with 2 young children sexually exploring each other's bodies so long as it was consentual. She also saw nothing wrong with a 18 mo old touching his parents private parts in the same way that he would touch their face to explore it. I tried to brush this aside - after all, it was only one person. I did flag the thread for a moderators review. (The thread was removed after a day.)
The long and short of it... many people have come forward saying that this is normal and if consentual ought to be allowed. Yes, you read that right. They see nothing wrong with toddlers and preschoolers examining and touching each others most private parts - and they did realize that research shows that babies as young as 5 mos can experience orgasm and most all children can.
I think it's important for us to realize the extent to which Biblical values of sex no longer exist in our culture. While we all realize that adults rarely choose to preserve their virginity until marriage and that few teens do as well, I think a lesser known fact is that many parents are now allowing their teens to do it right at home "At least they are in my house with access to a condom and not in some sleazy hotel."
The proverbial frog in the kettle - things get worse so slowly that the frog never realizes how far gone it is until it's too late. That is our culture when it comes to sexuality.
Shameful in the 50's to have premarital sex but playing around is ok
The sexual revolution of the 60's
Free love in the 70's
More liberation in the 80's
Adults widely accepting teen sex as normal in the 90's and even allowing it at home
Little children being allowed to sexually explore with parental consent in the 21'st century.
The lack of self control in sex is evident all through our society. I hope that you will continue on to read the following statistics: keeping in mind that these are only the cases that get caught and reported. In some scenarios, such as the inner city where some of my family works, the statistics can be far worse.
These statistics are quoted directly from here. It is my understanding that they are true across the board despite economic, social, religious or racial backgrounds.
"The statistics are shocking
* 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18. (96)
* 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18. (96)
* 1 in 5 children are solicited sexually while on the internet. (30, 87)
* Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under. (76)
* An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today. (1)
Even within the walls of their own homes, children are at risk for sexual abuse
* 30-40% of victims are abused by a family member. (2, 44, 76)
* Another 50% are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust.
* Approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know. (1, 44)
* Therefore, only 10% are abused by strangers.
Most children don't tell even if they have been asked
* Evidence that a child has been sexually abused is not always obvious, and many children do not report that they have been abused.
* Over 30% of victims never disclose the experience to ANYONE.
* Young victims may not recognize their victimization as sexual abuse.
* Almost 80% initially deny abuse or are tentative in disclosing. Of those who do disclose, approximately 75% disclose accidentally. Additionally, of those who do disclose, more than 20% eventually recant even though the abuse occurred.
* Fabricated sexual abuse reports constitute only 1% to 4% of all reported cases. Of these reports, 75% are falsely reported by adults and 25% are reported by children. Children only fabricate ½% of the time."
Unfortunately, these statistics don't change when you enter the doors of the church. While 93% of men call themselves religious, so do 93% of child molesters. A few months ago, my husband listened to a disturbing news report done by a major news network. They disguised reporters as adolescents online and had them meet with the men they spoke with. These were clearly meetings of a romantic and sexual nature. The reporters (who were followed seconds later by police) found several clergymen of various religions in just the few meetings they set up.
Check here for more statistics and info on sexual abuse in children.
Here are some questions to ask yourself... What the answers to them should be, I'll leave up to the individual. I don't think there is just one right or one wrong answer to them. It's really a matter of personal comfort level. Just a few things to think about tho...
- Who is your child ever alone with?
- How well do you know them?
- Do you know their sexual history? What kind of self control do they personally have in that area? Were they ever the victim of sexual abuse? (People who were are statistically more likely to also abuse others).
- If your child must attend daycare, preschool, childcare in a church or health club or any other place away from you, what kind of guidelines are in place there and how closely are they followed? What if your child needs help in the bathroom? How many people are present when that assistance is given? How many people are present when their diaper is being changed? How often are they alone (as in one child or many children) with only one adult present? How closely are these regulations followed when there are a pile of needy children running around or when someone is out sick? Also, please realize that background checks only are done in the current state of residence, not everyplace the person has ever lived. Also, they only catch those who have already been caught, not all the closet abusers.
- What other children does your child play with? Do you allow them alone in another room with those children? If so, do you know for a fact that those children have not been touched sexually or otherwise abused by anyone? Children are highly likely to sexually touch other children when it's been done to them. They are merely trying to figure out what happened to them. Additionally, many parents today see sexual exploration amongst children as normal and ok.
- Would your child understand if they were being touched inappropriately and are they of an age and maturity level and personality where they would be willing to speak up to that person despite threats and would be willing to talk to you despite the abuser threatening such things as killing you?
- Would your child stand up to peer pressure at 3 or 4 years of age and not go along with another child or group of children's desire to sexually touch each other?
- Is your child large enough and strong enough to fight back?
- If your child is going to a sleepover, how well do you know the parents and every other person on that guest list? Who else is going to be there?
- If your older child is babysitting, how well do you know the family they are babysitting for. I just had a friend tell me that she was molested by close friends of her parents while babysitting for them and that the man had a closet drinking problem.
I think these statistics are not very well known and these sorts of questions rarely thought about. Hope that posting this will promote dialogue between parents regarding how best to protect your children. Yes, God is our protector, but He has also given us as parents a responsibility as well. This does not mean that we should give way to fear, but we should be aware of the sin nature of the world we are living in and walk with wisdom in it. I want to always be sure I'm doing my best and then can trust that He will do the rest.
What shocked me, were some of the other comments. One mom in particular said she saw nothing wrong with 2 young children sexually exploring each other's bodies so long as it was consentual. She also saw nothing wrong with a 18 mo old touching his parents private parts in the same way that he would touch their face to explore it. I tried to brush this aside - after all, it was only one person. I did flag the thread for a moderators review. (The thread was removed after a day.)
The long and short of it... many people have come forward saying that this is normal and if consentual ought to be allowed. Yes, you read that right. They see nothing wrong with toddlers and preschoolers examining and touching each others most private parts - and they did realize that research shows that babies as young as 5 mos can experience orgasm and most all children can.
I think it's important for us to realize the extent to which Biblical values of sex no longer exist in our culture. While we all realize that adults rarely choose to preserve their virginity until marriage and that few teens do as well, I think a lesser known fact is that many parents are now allowing their teens to do it right at home "At least they are in my house with access to a condom and not in some sleazy hotel."
The proverbial frog in the kettle - things get worse so slowly that the frog never realizes how far gone it is until it's too late. That is our culture when it comes to sexuality.
Shameful in the 50's to have premarital sex but playing around is ok
The sexual revolution of the 60's
Free love in the 70's
More liberation in the 80's
Adults widely accepting teen sex as normal in the 90's and even allowing it at home
Little children being allowed to sexually explore with parental consent in the 21'st century.
The lack of self control in sex is evident all through our society. I hope that you will continue on to read the following statistics: keeping in mind that these are only the cases that get caught and reported. In some scenarios, such as the inner city where some of my family works, the statistics can be far worse.
These statistics are quoted directly from here. It is my understanding that they are true across the board despite economic, social, religious or racial backgrounds.
"The statistics are shocking
* 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18. (96)
* 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18. (96)
* 1 in 5 children are solicited sexually while on the internet. (30, 87)
* Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under. (76)
* An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today. (1)
Even within the walls of their own homes, children are at risk for sexual abuse
* 30-40% of victims are abused by a family member. (2, 44, 76)
* Another 50% are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust.
* Approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know. (1, 44)
* Therefore, only 10% are abused by strangers.
Most children don't tell even if they have been asked
* Evidence that a child has been sexually abused is not always obvious, and many children do not report that they have been abused.
* Over 30% of victims never disclose the experience to ANYONE.
* Young victims may not recognize their victimization as sexual abuse.
* Almost 80% initially deny abuse or are tentative in disclosing. Of those who do disclose, approximately 75% disclose accidentally. Additionally, of those who do disclose, more than 20% eventually recant even though the abuse occurred.
* Fabricated sexual abuse reports constitute only 1% to 4% of all reported cases. Of these reports, 75% are falsely reported by adults and 25% are reported by children. Children only fabricate ½% of the time."
Unfortunately, these statistics don't change when you enter the doors of the church. While 93% of men call themselves religious, so do 93% of child molesters. A few months ago, my husband listened to a disturbing news report done by a major news network. They disguised reporters as adolescents online and had them meet with the men they spoke with. These were clearly meetings of a romantic and sexual nature. The reporters (who were followed seconds later by police) found several clergymen of various religions in just the few meetings they set up.
Check here for more statistics and info on sexual abuse in children.
Here are some questions to ask yourself... What the answers to them should be, I'll leave up to the individual. I don't think there is just one right or one wrong answer to them. It's really a matter of personal comfort level. Just a few things to think about tho...
- Who is your child ever alone with?
- How well do you know them?
- Do you know their sexual history? What kind of self control do they personally have in that area? Were they ever the victim of sexual abuse? (People who were are statistically more likely to also abuse others).
- If your child must attend daycare, preschool, childcare in a church or health club or any other place away from you, what kind of guidelines are in place there and how closely are they followed? What if your child needs help in the bathroom? How many people are present when that assistance is given? How many people are present when their diaper is being changed? How often are they alone (as in one child or many children) with only one adult present? How closely are these regulations followed when there are a pile of needy children running around or when someone is out sick? Also, please realize that background checks only are done in the current state of residence, not everyplace the person has ever lived. Also, they only catch those who have already been caught, not all the closet abusers.
- What other children does your child play with? Do you allow them alone in another room with those children? If so, do you know for a fact that those children have not been touched sexually or otherwise abused by anyone? Children are highly likely to sexually touch other children when it's been done to them. They are merely trying to figure out what happened to them. Additionally, many parents today see sexual exploration amongst children as normal and ok.
- Would your child understand if they were being touched inappropriately and are they of an age and maturity level and personality where they would be willing to speak up to that person despite threats and would be willing to talk to you despite the abuser threatening such things as killing you?
- Would your child stand up to peer pressure at 3 or 4 years of age and not go along with another child or group of children's desire to sexually touch each other?
- Is your child large enough and strong enough to fight back?
- If your child is going to a sleepover, how well do you know the parents and every other person on that guest list? Who else is going to be there?
- If your older child is babysitting, how well do you know the family they are babysitting for. I just had a friend tell me that she was molested by close friends of her parents while babysitting for them and that the man had a closet drinking problem.
I think these statistics are not very well known and these sorts of questions rarely thought about. Hope that posting this will promote dialogue between parents regarding how best to protect your children. Yes, God is our protector, but He has also given us as parents a responsibility as well. This does not mean that we should give way to fear, but we should be aware of the sin nature of the world we are living in and walk with wisdom in it. I want to always be sure I'm doing my best and then can trust that He will do the rest.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Helena's Photography
Letting your kid use your camera is a great experiment! Amidst a huge pile of duds to be deleted, they manage to come up with some awesome artistic shots. I especially love the close-up of the dog and the creative self portraits Helena took. View here...
Thursday, February 26, 2009
We're Expecting....
But not in the traditional sense of the word. We are not expecting a child of the womb, but rather a child of the heart. In other words, we have begun the adoption process.
Adoption is something Joe and I have always wanted to do. One of my goals for this year (I always set New Year goals) was to at least make some serious headway on the adoption process. Well, it looks like we may end up, God willing, with another child before the year's end.
Joe got me a huge adoption encyclopedia of sorts and I began reading much of that. We considered first international infant adoption as a goal for sometime in the next few years. However, many nations require extensive stays in their borders, 2 wks at a time and then again for another 2 wks - or else require one very l-o-n-g stay of about 5 wks. This sort of international travel with a 3 yr old and with Joe's work schedule is not too feasible. We looked into Ethiopia which only requires one brief trip - until we realized that if I end up pregnant they will kick us out of the program and we could stand to lose a lot of headway and money.
Which brings me to the next question that comes to people's minds. No, we aren't infertile. We have just always wanted to adopt and this is the path God is leading us down at this time.
We have explored domestic infant adoption - but the process is very long.
We have decided we'd like to adopt out of the foster care system - from the listings of children currently available to adopt. We won't be foster parents ourselves, just adoptive parents.
Currently there are 130,000 children in foster care in need of forever families. Many of these children we do not have the resources to care for due to their age or severe disabilities. Still, I'm finding if we look hard enough, there are a handful of younger children available.
Last night we began our MAPP (Model Approach to Partnership in Parenting) training which is the most common class used for adoption/foster training. God has just opened wide the doors for us. We had looked into doing this when we were still living near Albany NY but getting a sitter was an issue. After some searching around this time, I found we could do the class apart from the normal Social Services route through another agency in the county where my mom lives. Grammy was more than happy to have a weekly visit with her out of town granddaughter. :) Unfortunately, this means almost a 2 hr drive each way, but we will gladly do it for Helena to have a good babysitter and for us to be able to get the MAPP certification which our county here doesn't even offer.
The second step in the process is a homestudy. We've opted out of having a free one done by social services. Am I the only one who doesn't like the idea of them prying into my home regardless of having nothing to hide? Mainly we opted against using them because if we do so, the process can be long and we don't actually own the homestudy. We can't fax it to counties around the nation where there are children we are interested in knowing more about. Everything would have to go through the beauracracy of social services.
Paying a private adoption agency to do our homestudy gives us the benefit of someone working directly for us, a homestudy that we can view and own at the end. It just so happens that the agency we called was just switched over to become a part of the nation's largest adoption agency and one that is overtly Christian. The lady we've been working with thus far has been wonderful! We have received our paperwork and begun the tedious process of answering detailed questions about every area of our lives.
We are so excited!! I can't believe how quickly this is all moving along from dream to reality! Please pray that God brings us the right child for our family. We are looking for a little girl not too above/below Helena - "little" being key. We have our eyes on one child who has been available for quite some time, is several years older than Helena, but with some developmental delays may be more on Helena's level. But we can't get any more info on her until we complete our class and homestudy.
Meantime, we wait, keep bz with the process and dream and wonder and dream and prepare and dream... What color will she want us to paint her very own room? How will the adjustment to a totally new environment go for her? How different attachment and trust will be when starting far beyond infancy!! How will Helena adjust to the change from only child to having a sibling maybe one who is even a bit older than her? How long will it take us to wean this child off the standard American diet onto our very different way of eating? What sorts of cute clothing will she need me to buy for her (ok yes, I love to shop). Will she have ever even heard of God apart from a curse word? Would she like if I made her an apron before she gets here so she has some like Helena and I do? What kind of homeschool will I do with 2? What sorts of books can I read to learn about developmental and educational delays? Should I make her a special doll before she comes or after? And on and on and on....
We've been talking about changes we need to make to the house - converting the office/guestroom to a bedroom. Changes we need to make to our lifestyle - following our daily routine far more than our current fly by the seat of our pants way of doing things. Our brains have been very busy with all of this - and very excited. We have so much to learn and explore, but we are so happy to be on this journey!
Please pray with us that God would continue to open all of the right doors for us! Thanks!!
Adoption is something Joe and I have always wanted to do. One of my goals for this year (I always set New Year goals) was to at least make some serious headway on the adoption process. Well, it looks like we may end up, God willing, with another child before the year's end.
Joe got me a huge adoption encyclopedia of sorts and I began reading much of that. We considered first international infant adoption as a goal for sometime in the next few years. However, many nations require extensive stays in their borders, 2 wks at a time and then again for another 2 wks - or else require one very l-o-n-g stay of about 5 wks. This sort of international travel with a 3 yr old and with Joe's work schedule is not too feasible. We looked into Ethiopia which only requires one brief trip - until we realized that if I end up pregnant they will kick us out of the program and we could stand to lose a lot of headway and money.
Which brings me to the next question that comes to people's minds. No, we aren't infertile. We have just always wanted to adopt and this is the path God is leading us down at this time.
We have explored domestic infant adoption - but the process is very long.
We have decided we'd like to adopt out of the foster care system - from the listings of children currently available to adopt. We won't be foster parents ourselves, just adoptive parents.
Currently there are 130,000 children in foster care in need of forever families. Many of these children we do not have the resources to care for due to their age or severe disabilities. Still, I'm finding if we look hard enough, there are a handful of younger children available.
Last night we began our MAPP (Model Approach to Partnership in Parenting) training which is the most common class used for adoption/foster training. God has just opened wide the doors for us. We had looked into doing this when we were still living near Albany NY but getting a sitter was an issue. After some searching around this time, I found we could do the class apart from the normal Social Services route through another agency in the county where my mom lives. Grammy was more than happy to have a weekly visit with her out of town granddaughter. :) Unfortunately, this means almost a 2 hr drive each way, but we will gladly do it for Helena to have a good babysitter and for us to be able to get the MAPP certification which our county here doesn't even offer.
The second step in the process is a homestudy. We've opted out of having a free one done by social services. Am I the only one who doesn't like the idea of them prying into my home regardless of having nothing to hide? Mainly we opted against using them because if we do so, the process can be long and we don't actually own the homestudy. We can't fax it to counties around the nation where there are children we are interested in knowing more about. Everything would have to go through the beauracracy of social services.
Paying a private adoption agency to do our homestudy gives us the benefit of someone working directly for us, a homestudy that we can view and own at the end. It just so happens that the agency we called was just switched over to become a part of the nation's largest adoption agency and one that is overtly Christian. The lady we've been working with thus far has been wonderful! We have received our paperwork and begun the tedious process of answering detailed questions about every area of our lives.
We are so excited!! I can't believe how quickly this is all moving along from dream to reality! Please pray that God brings us the right child for our family. We are looking for a little girl not too above/below Helena - "little" being key. We have our eyes on one child who has been available for quite some time, is several years older than Helena, but with some developmental delays may be more on Helena's level. But we can't get any more info on her until we complete our class and homestudy.
Meantime, we wait, keep bz with the process and dream and wonder and dream and prepare and dream... What color will she want us to paint her very own room? How will the adjustment to a totally new environment go for her? How different attachment and trust will be when starting far beyond infancy!! How will Helena adjust to the change from only child to having a sibling maybe one who is even a bit older than her? How long will it take us to wean this child off the standard American diet onto our very different way of eating? What sorts of cute clothing will she need me to buy for her (ok yes, I love to shop). Will she have ever even heard of God apart from a curse word? Would she like if I made her an apron before she gets here so she has some like Helena and I do? What kind of homeschool will I do with 2? What sorts of books can I read to learn about developmental and educational delays? Should I make her a special doll before she comes or after? And on and on and on....
We've been talking about changes we need to make to the house - converting the office/guestroom to a bedroom. Changes we need to make to our lifestyle - following our daily routine far more than our current fly by the seat of our pants way of doing things. Our brains have been very busy with all of this - and very excited. We have so much to learn and explore, but we are so happy to be on this journey!
Please pray with us that God would continue to open all of the right doors for us! Thanks!!
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